Moving on After Loss
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By Lucille Rosetti
After losing a loved one, you might have the urge to dodge or discard everything that brings back memories. A change of scenery may make sense in many cases, such as when you’re moving closer to friends and family members who can offer support in times of need.
But, unless it’s a financial necessity, experts suggest giving yourself time to grieve before making any major decisions, such as selling a house. Likewise, don’t feel as though you need to get rid of everything that reminds you of your loss. This process is going to be different for every person, and there’s no time table attached. But, once you are ready to tackle tough decisions, you may choose to make a fresh start in a new place that better fits your current lifestyle, especially if you’ve lost a spouse or someone else who shared your home.
Parting With Possessions
If making a move is the right decision for you, the packing process should probably entail some purging, particularly if you are downsizing to a smaller space. If you lived with your lost loved one, letting go of some of their possessions could be difficult. To give yourself more time, you might want to start selling, donating, or discarding some of your own unneeded items first. And, rather than adopting the extreme of hanging on to all of your loved one’s prized possessions or ridding yourself of everything, think through ways to preserve, repurpose, or recycle meaningful momentos.
For instance, you may want to donate your loved one’s collection of albums and music memorabilia to his or her favorite local nonprofit radio station to sell at its next fundraiser or add to its own music library. Or perhaps a favorite niece has always admired that ceramics collection and will display it in her home with pride if you give it as a gift. Finally, don’t hesitate to keep a few items for yourself, possibly transforming a loved one’s extensive collection of costume jewelry into bedazzled box for treasured photos and small keepsakes that will find a special space in your new home.
Hiring Help
If you’re putting your home on the market, downsizing belongings is also an important step in the selling process since you want to maximize the space in the eyes of potential buyers. Likewise, your furniture and other belongings will factor into how much space you’re seeking in a new home. Consider working with a real estate agent who can offer suggestions on staging your home. A good real estate agent will also help you set the right price for your property, market it aggressively, and handle the negotiations process with bidding buyers to make the process as hassle-free as possible for all parties involved, according to Money magazine.
Home sellers who are purchasing another property might also choose to have the same agent sell their existing home and help them find a new one. There are pros and cons to using a single agent for both transactions. For instance, the process may prove less complicated and costly, according to the Real Estate Buyer’s Agent Council of the National Association of Realtors. At the same time, a single agent may offer less specialization in one part of the process or in the area where you’re planning to relocate. So it’s important to interview agents and review references carefully before selecting the best professional fit.
Once you have a date set, you may also want to hire help with the move itself, particularly if you are taking on the task solo. If you’ve pared down your possessions significantly, hiring a full-service moving company might not make sense, but you can often find lower-cost companies that focus on packing, loading, and unloading for clients who do the truck rental and driving themselves. Just as with hiring a real estate agent, make the time to compare services and evaluate reviews to find the right provider for you.
If you take your time and approach the process in a logical and organized fashion, moving can be an ideal opportunity to make a fresh start after losing a loved one.
Lucille created TheBereaved.org as a means of sharing tools to help people through the grief process. Having lost some of the people closest to her, she understands what it’s like, and how it can be an emotional roller coaster that doesn’t always seem to make sense.
